The Freedom or Prison of Choice

Another reflection that I delivered today (4/10/2013). This version has some content added and modified.

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The readings may be found here. The readings are: Acts 5:17-26, Ps 34, John 3:16-21


 

The Sadduces, filled with jealousy, threw the Apostles in prison. We ought to ask ourselves who was really imprisoned.

At times we think it is pitiful to be poor, but the Lord hears the cry of the poor (cf. Psalm 34). The rich live in prisons of money, the prideful live in prisons of ambition, and the relativist lives in the prison of no boundaries.

“The powerful grow poor and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing” (Ps. 34:11)

“Blessed is the man who takes refuge in the Lord,” for that man is given true freedom. Upon reflection we discover that boundaries, rules, restrictions, and commandments were given to us not to restrict our freedom but to ensure it. At times these restrictions pain us, because restrictions cause tensions with our desires.

The one who believes that freedom is fulfilling every desire runs headlong towards a cliff and over, where there is no more freedom. The one who discerns the nature of his desires in light of God's help and His servant's teachings is able to say “yes” to this and “no” to that, preserving his life and developing it too.

Jesus is the “light of the world” (Jn 8:12) and He lights these commandments He's given us. While they do not burn as bright as He does, they are given as guides that keep us close to Him.

John tells us simply and plainly: “light came into the world, but people preferred darkness to light, because their works were evil” (Jn 3:20).

There are those who do not want to be told what to do, and thus they flee the Light and the smaller lights he has placed around us. We can ignore large commandments, but truly we can even ignore instruction in our own life of faith and even those concepts of Him we hold so dear. Shall the lights He's placed around us be where we gather or from where we flee?

The light, in the end, will expose our works, our thoughts, and our heart. Even if we are in error, this is not a cause for fear. Come to the light and you will know Him. Come to Him and you will freely choose Him.

Did We Miss Something?

Reflection on Sunday's Readings (01/27/2013) Link

Ezra told the people “Do not be saddened this day, for rejoicing in the Lord must be your strength!” The people before Ezra had been scattered and abandoned for a time, but they had been reunited. Their heritage had been lost and their home was in ruins. Now, all of a sudden, they were back together and their greatest treasure, the law of the Lord, was being taught to them again. The people, filled with emotion, began to weep—perhaps they wept at what they had lost. Perhaps they wept because forsaking the law cost them their home. Whatever the reason Ezra and the other leaders urged them to eat good food and drink sweet drinks. Here we see that returning the word of God brought joy, but also sadness, to those who were present.

The Psalm today states that the law of the Lord “refreshes the soul” but the leaders of the people in the Old Testament needed to urge everyone to refresh themselves. Nehemiah and Ezra asked them to 'party', so to speak, in order feel the joy that they should be feeling. It's odd advice to tell someone to “be happy” after they've cried—have they just missed something?

We may also notice that the crowd gathered at the synagogue in today's Gospel reacted in a peculiar way. Luke recounts that Jesus was praised for his power and teaching. He stood up among those present and read from the prophet Isaiah where he proclaimed that this was a “year acceptable to our Lord," greater than the holy 'day' proclaimed by Ezra. As he sat back down everyone else sat in stunned silence. They maybe thought to themselves at the moment—“did we just miss something?” Jesus satisfies their curiosity by saying “this passage is fulfilled in your hearing.”

Both of the stories today continue beyond this point, but it's worth pointing out why we've decided to stop at these particular points in both. The Old Testament shows the fulfillment of the prophets: the people have returned to Jerusalem. The New Testament proclaims fulfillment from God to those who need Him most. 

These accounts both present the fulfillment of a message and a reason to be happy, yet both groups present are not happy. 

It is strange that neither of these groups are particularly happy. The Jews longed in their heart for the word of God. Scripture says that it was explained to them plainly. When they heard it, they wept. The children of Israel waited for a savior, one who would lift the burden from the oppressed. When they saw Him, they remained silent. It's not unlike us nearing the end of a good book and we don't want to finish because it would mean leaving that world. It seems that when their aspirations and innermost hopes were manifested before their eyes they acted as if they were looking for something else.

Some people have said that the 'journey is better than the destination,' but while the journey is necessary the destination is the reason for that journey. Scripture today relates to us that when our senses come into contact with God we hardly believe it—sometimes because it's too good to be true, as with the Old Testament, and so we doubt; other times it's too true to be real, as with Christ, and so we brush it off. Is the same true with the Eucharist? Has God really visited his people in simple bread and common wine?

Jesus coming into our life should be an occasion for happiness precisely because he comes to us in the smallest of things. It stands to reason that he comes to us in a great number of things beyond it. If we deny Christ who is present before our eyes, who are we looking for instead—what are we looking for? There are those who suffer here in each of our communities and those who struggle right in front of us. They are the people who are urged to be most happy because God is with them. They are looking for God in the smallest of things. Do you think they would doubt or fail to recognize Him when they saw Him, even if it was through you?

Those who consider themselves fulfilled know they really aren't, but they look for that one perfect thing to complete them. Those who are starved are thankful with the smallest amount. 

Scripture is perhaps telling us to be hungry. But then it tells us to eat rich foods and drink sweet drinks. What fulfills us is here to be experienced: the consolation of the poor, the joy of those who mourn, and Christ fully present. We must believe that this is true and that this will make us happy, otherwise we'll always be looking for something else. Don't miss it.

On Forgiveness

After I went to Confession this morning I began to consider forgiveness. As I did, I returned again and again to myself—but I don't mean egotistically. I reflected on the moment when we sin, especially when it's that embarrassing, stupid, and every-time sin. And after we fall into that same sin (time and time again) we tend to get upset with ourselves, feel ashamed, and many other things. For the one who has faith, however, he looks to Christ to forgive him. This in itself is not bad at all.

I then began to wonder: We reach out to be forgiven and we entreat God with sighs and tears. But the truest fruit of that forgiveness (and mercy) is a conversion, a change of heart. But I think that in order for a conversion of heart to occur we also have to allow ourselves to be forgiven as well. If there is a gift that someone gives it must also be received. And how do we receive a gift? With gratitude, of course.

The gift of forgiveness, however, is no mere gift. It is one of the greatest gifts.

We should consider how the Lord sees us when He forgives us: he is like the bridegroom who rejoices in his bride (e.g., Ez 16:6-14, 59-60; Is 54: 5-8). He is the father who lovingly embraces his son (Lk 15:20-23). He is the shepherd who sacrifices himself for his sheep.

But let's reverse the image. How ought the bride, the son, and the sheep feel about themselves?

My friends, it is hard to forgive others at times, even when they're truly sorry. How much harder is it to forgive ourselves!

What I mean is this: we know God loves us and is ready to forgive. We (laymen), sadly, lack the ability to readily forgive sins in our ministry. We can, however, love and forgive others. But how can we really practice this if we're not prepared to love ourselves—to love ourselves as we are loved? There are those who say that there is nothing good in man, but what they are saying is that man is not worth loving. Man is, by his nature, good—our bodies themselves are temples for the Holy Spirit! See that “God formed man to be imperishable—the image of his own nature he made him” (Wis 2:23).

Christ Himself prayed for us even as he trembled at the prospect of death.

In this way if we are to fully receive forgiveness we must learn to love ourselves as God loves us. (Note that I do not say “truly” which would mean “we won't be forgiven unless we love like this.” We need to learn to love in this manner which is why I say “fully”).

God loves us, so he chastises us. We must also chastise ourselves.

God has mercy so we must be merciful with ourselves.

For remember that “you [God] taught your people … that those who are just must be kind” (Wis 12:19). Even kind to ourselves.

As such, the full reception of forgiveness is the reestablishment of a lost or damaged relationship. Something wounded or broke that relationship and love, mercy, and forgiveness want that relationship to be fixed. Yet, at the same time, though we can really want someone to reconcile with us only that person (who betrayed our trust/love/confidence) can complete that reconciliation.

You can see the difference that takes place after someone is forgiven: it is just as when the crippled man walked, the blind man saw, and the mute man spoke. There is a real change. I'm not saying that every time we forgive someone the mountains should shake, but if the person receives your forgiveness and is affected by a your constant love there should be a change in the person. This is what brings that forgiveness to completion—but note that this can be immediate or gradual.

Some journeys and climbs are difficult, but with patience and time we reach the end. So too with our souls and our bad habits--we have to attack them slowly and with patience. Be prepared for a climb.

But how can we tell a change has taken place in someone else (for the better)? How do we discern this?

The answer may rest within us. With some introspection and self-reflection we can discern a few things:

If we desire forgiveness, do we accept it and love ourselves? If not, do we dwell on our shame or end up hating ourselves? Self-hatred in this case is a form of self-absorption. We care more for our opinion of ourselves than the love of He who gives it freely.

We can end up in this state but do not remain in it.

When one loves us they want what is best for us. When we love ourselves with a holy love we want what is best for us too. Those who dwell on their sins are a slave to that sin. The one who hates himself is a slave to himself. As such, do you change yourself in a visible way so as to get better? If your weakness is pornography do you remove yourself from the situations that lead you to view it? If your weakness is gossip do you avoid situations where you can hear it? Do you make an effort to remove yourself from the environments that lead you to sin with the appropriate caution and care necessary for it? Or do you lament the sin and, in effect, change very little except the bitterness with which you hate the sin or yourself? Conversion occurs in little steps and, over time, you will see change. Change for the better is a sign of self-love and conversion.

Consider the parable of the Prodigal Son: The father loves his son with love inexpressible and worries for him with an anxiety that's unbearable. This alone does not make the relationship whole, but the ground is fertile. It is not until the son returns that the story is resolved. He expects only to serve the father—he knows the weight of his guilt. But the father raises him up and rejoices. He embraces him and prepares a feast. The son is transformed by his desire to be forgiven. First he just desires to be under the father, but when his father declares a feast for him he accepts it, not with pomp or haughtiness, but with silent gratitude.

Consider the story, consider still the response of the son.

This reconciliation should be considered as a model for us with respect to others and with special regard to the Church. Some are removed from the Church, but as the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) says, “There is no offense, however serious, that the Church cannot forgive. "There is no one, however wicked and guilty, who may not confidently hope for forgiveness, provided his repentance is honest. Christ who died for all men desires that in his Church the gates of forgiveness should always be open to anyone who turns away from sin”(982).

And so if we love ourselves we will be changed. When we're loved by others and accept it more fully we will be transformed. How much more will we be transformed when we learn to love ourselves, allow ourselves to be loved by others, and allow ourselves to be loved by God? Love effects a change in us, but only when we also realize that it will make us vulnerable and humble.

Remember, then, that we cannot be grateful for a gift we don't accept.

Peter denied Christ three times. But three times Christ asked him “Do you love me?” With each “I love you” came a command—when we respond to God's love he desires both action and conversion. He said to Peter “Feed my lambs … [and] follow me.”

And so, shall we truly say “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”?

Do we truly believe that we should love God with our whole heart, mind, being and soul and “love your neighbor as yourself”?


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As a side note, I'll be in Guatemala in less than 18 hours. Please comment and I hope to put up a lot of nice pictures while I'm there. Reflections too!

M

(Edit 8/9/2012: cleaned up some diction)